Hi guys...
I have't been around much in recent weeks--just haven't had much inclination to blog about anything. It's hard to say why writers experience those dry spells; maybe it's just the imagination telling us, "Okay--how about a break, here?" Figuring that was the case in my situation, I listened, but in the back of my pea brain, something has been niggling away at me: "You're a writer--you should be writing."
So, here I am.
I've missed you guys; although I've never met any of you vis-a-vis, never doubt the place you occupy in my heart. I do care, even during those times when I withdraw and hide away...guess I figure you'll still be there, doing what you do so well, waiting for me to catch up again. You have your own lives, life oftentimes moves people on and into other places, and I've returned to a very quiet and lonely place..
I have no illusions about my place in the world anymore, and that realization comes to me without resentment or regret. I'm here, doing what I do, the best I can--we all are. The world is complicated, menacing, and has no difficulting rolling over us in our weaker moments, but I'm learning to take it all in stride and just keep soldiering on.
I've been working pretty hard at helping make others' dreams come true, but, you know, it's not all that bad. I'm learning a lot about them (and myself in the process) and figure my time will come when it comes. When I'm ready to follow through on my own dreams, I will. So, I'm sewing handwarmer muffs for Nora's business, helping a very good person enter grassroots politics, and supporting my beloved as he prepares for his role as Otto Frank in our community theater production of "The Diary of Anne Frank". Of all I'm involved with, that last thing is the most impactful. Although I was offered the role of Anne's mother, Edith, I declined because the time of year and seasonal affective disorder preclude my getting involved with that level of emotional investment. Because Steve is more resilient, I'm happy he accepted the role as Anne's father (and the only family member to survive the Holocaust) and know he will give his customary 200% effort into making the role his, and I'll do all in my power to help him along that path.
So...as I write this, my office windows open onto a chilly, gray autumn day, and my bones are telling me that white stuff will be in the air before month's end. That's okay, too--it's part of the seasonal changes to which Mom Earth has been subject from the beginning, and I'm just glad to still be a witness to it all one more year...
Sure beats to hell the alternative...
8 )
